Edition 9

On my mind this week:

There are moments in life when you feel breathlessly busy. The privilege of this is not lost on me after a year of PJ pants, zoom catch ups and a long winter of walking stoically for the thousandth time around our neighbourhood. BUT I still reserve the right to rally against this feeling of a lobster slowly boiling in a pot of water. Things are heating up this week. I’m writing a new podcast project and staring down the barrel of my own fear. I’ve spoken before about this glorious interview with Jerry Seinfeld who told Tim Ferris that the key to writing anything is to get comfortable with your own mediocrity. So here I am making friends yet again with imposter syndrome and working out how to get this idea that won’t leave me alone into audio form. Something new is coming and I’m summoning all my collective neurosis to get out of my own way. Barak Obama’s focus on the work. Breath in. Breath out. Keep moving. Drink coffee.

My daughter is on. the. move. She is the Sheryl Sandberg of babies and I for one am finding all this 'leaning in' exhausting. Yesterday I watched her grabbing fistfuls of dirt from a pot in the garden, flinging them wildly across the paving stones and relishing the feeling of crawling through the mess in fits of giggles. You say her name and immediately she turns, looks you in the eye, grins and then proceeds to crawl, climb, scoot at a break neck pace to the closest DANGEROUS thing in our house. Life is there to be experienced and she is ready for it. Stairs are a must. Food is to be smashed into hair. Bath time is for throwing water out of the bath, drenching whatever gormless human is standing near by. The thing no one tells you about motherhood is the relentless love and quite frankly the RELENTLESSNESS. You love these humans at a level that is frankly exhausting. Sometimes I just smell the top of their heads, breathing them in, marvelling at the sheer gorgeousness of their funny, pink faces while also secretly wishing I could just go to the loo alone.

I think there is a myth perpetuated that the only way to be truly fulfilled (especially as a woman) is to have a family or as the fabulous comedian Nikki Britton said in her comedy show I saw last night, ‘DO YOUR DUTY USE YOUR UUTY!’ I want to say categorically that I think there are so many paths for us to go down. One of which is having your own kids. I don’t think it’s for everyone though and I also think there are so many different ways to build a family around you. Sometimes it can feel like there is a divide between the mates who have kids and the ones that don’t. I think we all need to have compassion for each other on both sides and for goodness sake if you have kids aim to talk about SOMETHING else at the barbecue. I’m so guilty of this too but we all don’t need to know every minute detail of your kids lives. There are a lot of other things to discuss for example this piece entitled 'Do Tortoises and Turtles Fart? The Gassy Truth'.

Something to read/watch:

I subscribe to a whole list of newsletters from the NY times which is my new favourite way to receive content and recommendations. One of my guilty pleasures is listening to old musical soundtracks and imagining what it would have been like to grow up in the hey day of theatre. Before film or television people would doll themselves up to the nines to go and watch actors treading the boards. Not saying that I don't love curling up on the couch to watch a great series but honestly I do think I was born in the wrong era. There's something we have lost in that regular collective sharing of live performance which I was reminded of during the comedy festival last week. I have a face and general vibe slightly reminiscent of Liza Minnelli and wrapping myself up in a glorious coat to go the 'theeeaterr' would be just my thing. Cabaret is high up on the list and these magic reanimated photographs from the NY times are a tiny window into the theatre and the characters of that time when this darkly funny musical was at it's height.

Something to cook:

Tonti’s No Fail Pulled Pork

(Specifically made to feed raucous crowds of mates and family where you want to impress with maximum effect and minimum effort)

Ingredients:

• 2 ½ kg boneless pork shoulder

• 2 tsp smoked paprika

• 2 tsp cumin

• 2 tsp pepper

• 2 tsp brown sugar

• 1 tsp salt

• 2 medium mugs of apple cider

• 1 medium mug smoky BBQ sauce

• Fresh soft white rolls (like floury baps not being bossy but if they are too crunchy it just won't cut the mustard and no one likes a too hard roll)

• Coleslaw to serve

Method:

1. Mix spices, sugar and salt. Rub over pork.

2. Put pork in a slow cooker.

3. Pour over cider, cover with the lid and cook on low for 8 hours.

4. Take out meat and shred, ditch the skin and skim the fat from the liquid in the pot.

5. Add BBQ sauce to the slow cooker, stir in with the juices from the meat and then add the shredded pork back in.

6. Keep warm. Can be made ahead.

7. Serve straight from the pot into rolls with coleslaw, extra sauce and golden roast potatoes. This my friends is the last meal I would order if I knew I was about to kick the bucket. Juicy, crunchy, salty and sweet. Really important to end on a high I feel. Also good if you are throwing a party and want to actually sit down with a beer and a mate at some point as the meat can just stay in the warmer until you plonk it on the table ready to go.

And there we are again for another week. I took a break last week for school holidays so am relishing the quiet time to write to you. I'm watching the leaves on the tree outside our studio turn yellow and fall. James said to me yesterday that the leaves made him sad. It's not long before we will wake up and they will all be gone. Our tree will be nude, standing there in a our garden. To me it marks the passing of time and oh the light. The light through leaves is worth the loss. They'll be back as will the sunshine.

Lots of love 'til next week!

Tonts x

Here's the view from my studio window. And that's our tree.